The Great Video Game Debate, Take 2: PLATFORMERS
Next video game topic for debate between me and my friends at Soulkerfuffle and LastBestAngryMan is "the top Platformer game of all time."
To begin, we need to mention one title in particular that would have far surpassed all other games in this genre, had it been officially released. Yes, I am talking about Rushan Special Forces. With innovative characters like the Red Machine Gun Man and the Blue Ninja (whose special abilities included the revolutionary "fake jump"), this game was poised for absolute awesomeness. Unfortunately for the developer, plans fell into the hands of Konami, who released their own version, Rush'n Attack, first.
But I digress...
#5 Mega Man 2 (NES)
It was absolutely ridiculous. You're a little blue robot who runs around and blows up the evil robot goons of the maniacal Dr. Wily. The part that made it so great was after you defeated one of the bosses (Air Man, Wood Man, Metal Man, etc...), you got to use their powers. Crash Bombs forever!!! It's now available as part of the Wii Virtual Console too!!!
#4 Goonies II (NES)
I may catch hell for this one, but god damn did I love this game, which was loosely based on the movie. Ok, by "loosely" I mean "nothing at all like." You played as Mikey Walsh (aka Sean Astin), shot different monsters and the dreaded Fratellis with a slingshot, tossed around Molitov cocktails, and saved your friends. I can't remember the rest of the plot, but who cares.
#3 Super Mario Brothers 64 (Nintendo 64)
The thing I remember most about SMB64 was how expansively 3D it was (I believe this really established the 3D Platformer). It was a long and challenging game, but it never got boring. Frustrating at times, but never boring. Extremely well-balanced and fun.
#2 Contra (NES)
Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start. Just about anyone will be able to tell you what that is. Embedded in the code for this entertaining Platformer was the first extremely well known cheat code. Frustrated gamers everywhere can thank Konami for their insight - now just about every game on the market comes complete with cheats.
#1 Castlevania (NES)
My fiancee doesn't play video games (except for Wii Sports Bowling) or really have any interest in computers or gaming. She can, however, recognize the Castlevania music within like three notes. That's how you know a game was good - people who aren't "gamers" still remember it. It was extremely challenging (I hated that damn little Igor) and extremely entertaining. And the music was cool. Thankfully, Uwe Boll hasn't realized it never has been made into a movie...
It was really hard to narrow down this list to the top 5. Other notable runners up include Friday the 13th, Metroid, Pac Man, Altered Beast, Kid Icarus, Kung Fu, the original Super Mario Brothers, and Bionic Commando.
Worst Platformer: Gyromite
Gyromite was one of two games designed to use Nintendo's Robotic Operating Buddy. This piece of useless garbage (it straight up didn't work) was originally packaged with the Nintendo Entertainment System in 1985, but thankfully removed when (and this is just my conjecture) some top Nintendo brass realized the thing was crap. The game was much more fun when incorporating my own version of the R.O.B. - the Real Operating Brother. He just pushed the buttons the lame robot was couldn't manage to hit. The game was fun then.
Using advanced computer modeling, we have been able to generate what we believe is an accurate portrait of the Soul Kerfuffle blogger's first child: